Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
