he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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