she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
