Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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