I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
