RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
