You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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