I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
