It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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