Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
