I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
this hospital has no fireball
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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