I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
