so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Found the puke drawer
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
