Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
