HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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