But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
