I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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