She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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