Soap is not a condiment
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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