So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
