How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
