I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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