"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
