Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
