On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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