Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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