Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
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