I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
