They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
