So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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