"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
