is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
