umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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