Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
