Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
God I need to hump something, right now.
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