Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
