Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
