so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
