New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
