we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
