Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
