do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
