why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
