Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
