it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
