as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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