I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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