I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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