Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hippo gnu deer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
