Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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