Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
