shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Randomize
