she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
