I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
